We all know what’s about to happen: the family, the friends, the music, the BBQ. It’s all coming to cut into your weekend reading time. You’re going to open that book, someone is going to ask you what it’s about, and then they’re going to talk about John at the office. Don’t worry. We’re here to help. Here are some places to hide this weekend to get in your well deserved reading time.
Under The Table
You heard me. Get under that table. Let the tablecloth do its job and hide you while you lay back and get a few chapters in.
The Side Of The House
Okay, sure. It’s where the bugs are. Spray on a little eau de deet and muster through it, because no one is going to bother you outside the side gate.
The Front Yard
Everyone is outback for the BBQ so the front step is yours for the taking. Lean back against the house, put your feet out, and finish that book.
Sure, it smells like oil leaks and rust but there’s plenty of space to sit down and hide between the cars. Plus, you’ll hear the door open long before they think to look under the car for you.
Light a candle. Open the window. Sit on the throne. Put your feet up on the tub. Get comfy. And be prepared to shout “Sorry, not feeling good!” About three thousand times while relatives knock on the door.*
*Maybe don’t hog the bathroom if it’s the only one.
Next to Grandpa
He’s gonna be asleep anyway and everyone just let’s him. Go get a chair and put it next to him and enjoy the gentle, lulling soundtrack of an old man snoring.
In The Car
Put all the windows down first and then lay down in the backseat. Sure, you’re big now and it might be a scrunched fit but it’s better than having that chapter interrupted.
I don’t care how old you are: couch cushion forts are the bomb. Take all the cushions, build yourself a home, put a blanket on top of it, and tell everyone to STAY OUT.
You could also just… you know… talk to your family.
HA HA! Just kidding. Where are you going to read this weekend?